I’ve gotten a lot of questions about how dividing up tasks using “domains” works in practice. Specifically, what happens when something is in one partner’s domain, but the other person has a strong point-of-view?

There’s been a lot of discussion lately on the “mental load” or “emotional labor” in a relationship and how that work disproportionately falls onto one partner, often the woman. That partner is the “manager” of the household who delegates work to the other partner. For example, both people decide to go on vacation, but one partner is “managing” the process (making sure hotels and flights are booked, planning an itinerary, ensuring everyone’s visas and passports are in order) while the other partner cruises along and only does the work he/she is asked to do. It’s exhausting for the first partner and can cause a frustrating dynamic. We wanted to be proactive and avoid defaulting the mental load to one person.